youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
