we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize