Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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