drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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