He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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