My hand turned me down
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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