i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
