how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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