Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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