If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
