I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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