I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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