Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
