I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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