My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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