He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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