Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
