The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas