It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
