just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize