I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
