Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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