It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
