He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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