She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
