There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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