Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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