i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
