so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
