and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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