I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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