She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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