she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
