He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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