you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
