dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
