i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
