is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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