There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
