And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I came so hard my ears popped.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
