yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
