I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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