i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
