Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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