I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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