I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize