Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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