everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
