This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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