Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
