my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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