tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
