Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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