Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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