she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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