I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
